I’m Not SorryLast weekend I was watching my two boys, ages 8 and 11 playing, and roughhousing as boys play with each other. One does something that the other does not like and the fireworks begin as they start arguing, fighting and hitting each other. when it is broken up they told each other and me they are “SORRY and we all accepted and move on but I wonder “did they really meant it?” How many of you have received or heard an apology but did not feel that it was sincere?
I started to think about apologizes and how they are used so commonly today and decided to look up the word “Sorry” definition.
SORRY: Adjective: 1. Feeling or expressing sympathy, pity, or regret:
2. Grieved for the loss of good or pained for some evil. Today, we use the word “sorry” and are apologizing more than ever. A report from the University of Massachusetts states that since 1990 public apologies have more than doubled. Apologies are used more often but are they “Heart Felt”? Common courtesies are no longer common and the word “sorry” has lost its depth and meaning. In the past is was common when accidentally bumping into someone and say, “I’m sorry” today your lucky to get any type of acknowledgement.
In the Media we see High profile figures lying and then delivering superficial apologies like: A world leaders who set off nuclear bombs (North Korea) and side he was sorry.
Celebrates who get drunk, go on TV, and make public spectacle of themselves and insult other races and religions.
Celebrities who expose themselves and have thousands of photos taken and published then say there’re “sorry”.
Sports figures who take drugs (performance enhancing or other illegal one), or smash a fellow soccer player with their head in the chest of during a game in front of millions and say there’re “sorry”.
Presidents and CEOs who lie, cheat, and steal billions say there’re “sorry”.
Politicians who get caught lying, cheating and sealing say there’re “sorry”.
The only time they say they are sorry is when they get caught and have to say it.
They all want forgiveness for horrible things they do but they have made a ton of money or help their BIG EGOS and now they feel better but go out and do it again. Most apologies today are done out of political, social or economic pressures and have little meaning.
So, WHY are we so willing to maintain relationships with these immoral people sacrifice our humanity and accept their apologies?
Well I’m tired of it, I’m not accepting their apologies anymore and I’m NOT SORRYSomething needs to be done because we have reached an apology epidemic.
DO NOT accept any more apologies until the following takes place!
I call them the four R’s
Responsibility, Regret, Reparation, and Reform
Responsibility: First they must admit to themselves that they have wronged and then to whom they have wronged. The offenders must be open and honest with themselves. It’s simple if they did it fess up to it, and do it soon after to the event as possible. Everyone is responsible for their actions so don’t point fingers at others. They did it, everyone knows it them must deal with it, no matter how tough it is. Don’t worry about another action that might have been part of it, they will have their turn to apologize too.
Regret: Be remorseful, have empathy and publicly open up. Explain how the offence they did affected/benefited them. Let them answer how they think their offence might have affected others.
Reparations: If they broke it - fix it and make it better than the way it was. Pay a penitence for what you did and do it in a way that is meaningful for the offended party. Something that is befitting or similar to the offence.
Reform: Finally, they would have to come up with steps to make sure this does not happen again and hold them accountable for the change. Declare what values or beliefs are they going to change in order to alter their behavior in the future. What actions are they going to do whether it is through a higher awareness, taking educational classes or something to know that they have changed?
“Saying your sorry is not enough without a change in behavior.”If we insist on using these 4 R’s then a public apology can be a powerful deterrent and people will think twice before they lie, cheat, steal, offending or harming. It will also set the person free and regain their self-respect, and then the relationship can be reestablished. To have a success in business, in society or in a family they must have Honesty and Integrity.
Honesty is Telling the Truth to Ourselves and Others
Integrity is Living that Truth.
The next time someone says that they are sorry tell them
“I’m not accepting your apology and I’m not SORRY!
English
